If you read Rants from Mommyland you are probably already laughing…if you don’t, basically a “Gwyneth” is a Mommy who preaches about ”perfect” nutrition (aka NOT the TastyCake cupcake I just snarfed down), the “best” schooling (aka we are sending our daughter to public school in 5 years), the “right” clothing (not a damn thing with Target or Walmart when my little lovey is outgrowning clothes at a rate unmatched by anything on this Earth), the “appropriate” activities (WHAT?!?  Your daughter isn’t in Kindermusik or Gymboree or HappyBabyYogaPeople and Stuff!  Call DSS!), etc…she would be known to my Mother as someone who “thinks her shit don’t stink…”  More likely, she thinks her poo smells like roses but whatever…

I belong to an online help support group called “Triangle Mommies.”  There are forums for specific areas and ages, etc.  I’ve been woefully reluctant to join as I am a lostbabymama…it’s hard to deal with some of the trivial crap people post but I’ve sacked up and rejoined (I belonged when I was pregnant with the boys and after I lost them, I moved to the grief group but the moderator sucked and it wasn’t much help).  I post occasionally, looking for advice about what to feed Zoey or where to find inexpensive shoes…I check back in hoping that someone will schedule a K16 playdate on the weekend so Zoey (and Mommy) can make friends (a weekend playdate, I’m finding, is like trying to spot a unicorn or only finish half of a T-box).

And there in lies my problem, I think.  My and the Hubster are recovery from our own personal financial setbacks that make the US economic situation look like as happy as a JCrew catalog.  I think I’ve alluded to them here previous but let me just say this.  We have been really, really, really broke.  To refresh, I was fired on maternity leave, we drained our savings, had our bank account hacked to the tune of $1,000 (only half of which we got back) and had scrap together the down payment on a new car because Hubster’s 20 year old Jeep died (while I was driving it.  Another tale.)  Last month, I made $75 worth of groceries last almost 3 weeks.  That’s not easy folks.  Here’s my conclusion:

I think my socio-economic situation does not match the snitches on the Triangle Mommies forum.

Someone posted a question about flying with an infant.  Basically, should she get pay for a seat for the baby and/or take the car seat?  I responded about a recent trip to CA that we took with Zoey.  We did not get her a seat for 3 reasons.  First, there weren’t any infant seat fares available, second, it was just too expensive and finally, she wasn’t going to sit in the car seat for the 5 hour flight anyway.  Most days she’s not happy about the 7 minute ride to the Harris Teeter….I moved on to the car seat question and simply said, “we got one from the rental car company.”

You’d have thought I suggested that this woman strap her baby to the wing of the airplane or the hood of the rental car.  Here is a sampling of some of the responses:

“Tickets are expensive. But, IMO, since it’s the only way the FAA, NTSB, and others recommend a child fly safely, it’s money well spent. It also means she won’t be a projectile and kill someone else on their way to Thanksgiving dinner. So yeah, in the future, buy a ticket. Or don’t go. It’s not always a fun choice to make. One we’ve also had to make several times. But we either buy a ticket, find another way, or don’t go. “

“Do NOT do this!! They have the most outdated and who knows how safe car seats. We once were dumb once too and didn’t buy dd a seat on the plane, flew to Seattle…Ummm are you freaking kidding me? So yeah, I would so not do that…”

Great, thanks.  I’m a bad Mommy, my infant is a threat to others on the plane and I’m dumb.

Sweet.  Why don’t I live closer to Lydia and Kate?